2013 - present
2012 - present
If we kept goals per minute records then Pank would surely but up there at the top, for several of his strikes last season came when he came off the bench (him having signed late on, trying to break into the side). A friendly, experienced player who knows how to find the back of the net.
Role: B Team Assistant Manager
2013 - present
Veteran centre half who has been there and done it. Blessed with great talent with the ball at his feet (or on his head) but even greater character. One to have at your side when the chips are down and proof that the game doesn't just revolve around technical ability. A natural leader and to quote one Mr Cairney ‘a monster at the back’.
Role: A Team Secretary
2002 - present
Dedication personified, there's seemingly no distance Kip wouldn't travel for a frustating morning between the sticks, shouting at Shawy and screaming himself hoarse with despair as yet another result slips away. An unrivalled shot-stopper with a gargantuan collection of pristine goalkeeping gloves and shirts, every goal conceded is like a knife to his heart. So remember that next time. Think about what you're doing. Alright? Ok. Good.
Role: Veterans Manager
2000 - 2005 & 2012 - present
Re-joining the cause as a player at the start of the 2012/13 season the left footed midfielder/forward possesses a mean cross and finish (sometimes even both at once! - see Nottingham Law school 30/10/12). When the opportunity to add Fanzine United’s first ever ‘B’ side arose (in the 2013/14 pre-season) Ian ably stepped into the breach as manager and his positive attitude and commitment to the cause (as well as his Del Boy like blagging skills) have proven to be invaluable.
Has formed more football sides that Herbert Kilpin (google him).
1996 - ? & 2005 - present
Das Kaiser. The greatest player ever to have represented the club? Certainly the first pick for any All-time Fanzines Fantasy XI. Somehow managed to breeze through a Fanzines career with a span that rivals that even of Garry Goals, starting as a young striker in the Division 2 winning 'Dream Team' of the mid-nineties, and then returning nearly a decade later as an unparalleled libero to inspire a promising side to promotion to the big boys league and within one game of winning the whole damned thing. Absolute legend.
2005 - present
Scruffy goal-scoring phenomenon. Has somehow managed to maintain a nearly goal-a-game average despite the seemingly permanent chronic knee-knack and the frequent absence of goal scoring opportunities provided by his teammates.
Role: Veterans Assistant Manager
the dar days of the early noughties, Lyndon led the side by
example, which the rest of the team chose wisely not to
follow. Holder of a proud goal scoring record (ie he
scored one), Lyndon's game was absed around holding the ball
and waiting for the foul to come. Spending his declining years
hacking around with Garry Goals for Butler Benfica, the upturn
in Fanzines' fortunes since his departure is purely
2001/02 18 (1)
2002/03 20 (0)
2003/04 21 (0)
2004/05 19 (0)
2005/06 20 (1)
Aaaaaand just when you thought you'd seen the last of him, Lyndon assisted with the formation of the long overdue Fanzines Veterans Team along with Ian Cairney in 2016.
Imagine that, a Fanzines side run by Cowlard and Cairney......
2015 - present
Easily the quickest player at the club with the ball at his feet, Josh has the ability to ghost past defenders like they weren't there (always smiling as he does so) and bags assists for fun. Has Hollas salivating at the prospect of his deliveries.